Life After Marriage

The excitement of finding your life partner and getting married can often hide the truth of the daily routine that will follow. When both partners are working it can take a bit of an effort to handle the duties around the house, in addition to making time to explore the newly changed relationship. Here are some tips to juggle a full time job and experience a happily married life.

Set Responsibilities Clearly for Daily Duties

The daily grind of living suddenly comes on your two shoulders. The couple needs to set clear responsibilities from the first day about who is expected to handle what chores. It may seem like an unromantic discussion to have on your honeymoon, but it will save a lot of tears and grief in the long run.

In today’s world when both partners are likely to be working with full time jobs, it’s a good idea to play to your strengths at home. Cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping and more can be split up based on who finds it more convenient to do a specific chore. Plus keep it flexible, just because someone agrees to do a task doesn’t mean that the other partner will refuse to do it altogether.

Appreciate Your Partner Regularly

Often the business of living becomes so routine that couples often forget to express love and joy to their partners. A kiss on the cheek before leaving for work, a hug when you walk back into the house, these are small actions that show your partner that you value their being around.

Leave the more elaborate gestures for special occasions. This does not stop you from expressing your love in some small way to your partner through your actions daily. You can  send a message on the phone, or simply hold them while you sleep. The idea is to ensure that the love in your heart is expressed to your spouse. Daily!

Practice Honesty in the Relationship

There are times when a white lie allows you to get away without having to spend time and effort into explaining your actions to your partner. This may seem like an innocent idea, but will in fact cause major problems in the relationship as trust gets eroded over time. Your partner will always come to know about lies you spoke, be it immediately or after a few weeks, even years.

If they can’t trust you to tell them the truth, they will wonder what is wrong with the relationship. Then they will begin to keep things from you. Eventually both partners will not have an open and loving communication channel. This will lead to distrust and disgust. Are you willing to risk the future of your relation with your spouse simply because you don’t want to spend the time to explain your true intentions for doing some things to them? Keep it honest.

Say Thank You for the Little Things

Gratitude is a great binder in a marriage. You know that your partner will do a certain chore  like making your tea, putting out the trash, or filling up the empty water bottles and placing them in the fridge. However, by simply saying thank you to them for doing this chore, you give them a sense of well being, as they know that they are appreciated for their contribution.

Instead of keeping score like, I raked the lawn, so you need to clean out the kitchen closet, try to simply be grateful that your partner is helping you out. That the two of you are a team that works well together. The more you express your gratitude, the more you will have reasons to express more gratitude to your partner.

Plan for Children Together

Having a baby seriously changes the dynamics of any relationship. Make sure that both partners actually want the baby at the time. Communicate regularly about feelings, emotions and expectations. Remember pregnancy hormones can affect  the woman in a real and life changing way. Have patience with your wife as she deals with altering of her body and becoming responsible for a newborn baby.

Both parents will be dealing with exhaustion once the baby arrives. Give yourselves some slack. Not everything needs to be perfect all the time. Set priorities about what needs to be done in addition to the demanding needs of the newborn baby. Discuss any issues around housekeeping and come up with solutions that work for both partners. Remember that you are a team.

Share a Hobby

It’s even more important to make time for each other once the baby arrives. Children have a way of taking up all your spare time. Make it a deliberate practice to spend time as a couple, without your child around. Ensure that you go out and do things that you enjoyed before you became parents.

It helps if the two of you share interest in a common hobby. It can become a good stress buster to work on this hobby project together. Spending time away from the home, the child and the regular responsibilities allows you to bond again with your spouse. Make it a priority to work on your relationship even as you make your way through life’s demands.

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