Tammy McGary, CC By via Flickr

You love your man and he loves you. The big day is round the corner and the very thought of the wedding has you hyperventilating. Your mind and your heart are in constant conflict about the upcoming nuptials. How can you get married to this man, you ask yourself. Is he really the one whom you want to spend the rest of your life with, says your brain while your heart sings with joy at the thought of doing just that. This is nothing new for brides to be, in fact nearly everyone has second thoughts and pre wedding jitters as the D-Day approaches.

It is natural for both the bride and the groom to experience these feelings and emotions before the wedding.  This is the reason why weddings get called off at the very last moment for no earthly reason. You don’t want that to happen to your wedding after all the hours you put in planning for its success. Do you? Here are a few ways to ensure that you deal effectively with these feelings that cause butterfly sensations in your stomach.
Schedule some “Me” time

Once you announce your intention to get married you will get no time to yourself for contemplation or meditation. With all the craziness that goes hand in hand with planning a wedding, you can run yourself ragged. Leave yourself some time to relax and deal with the stress. Think of spending a day with your best friend at the spa to pamper yourself by getting the full works. You will be totally detoxified and de-stressed by the time you come out.

If no longer being single is the cause of your concern, then schedule a Hen Party for the girls or a Stag Party with the boys that ensures that you have one last wild night before you get hitched. Remember while it was fun being single and ready to mingle, you will now never have to worry about getting an escort ever again! Do remember to warn your family members before you switch off your mobile phone. You don’t want anyone panicking when they are unable to reach you and calling the police.

Don’t feel comfortable taking off on your own? Include your future spouse in your plans. Take some time off from the wedding planning and just go have some fun with your fiancé. Pack a picnic basket and head for a favorite outdoor location. If you are not the outdoors type just hit the mall and get lunch at a fine dining restaurant. Get romantic and don’t talk about anything related to the wedding. Enjoy each other’s company. It will remind you why you want to spend the rest of your lives together. This would be a sure cure for those pre wedding jitters that you are trying to hold back.

Leave the plans in capable hands

Dealing with the caterer, the venue, the marriage license, the musicians, the rings, the flowers, the dance choreography for special events, the photographer, the wedding invitations, the accommodation and transportation of the out of town wedding guests, and so much more can be tiring to say the least. There is so much involved in planning a wedding that a single person can never hope to do justice to all the requirements. Even with the full family pitching in there is the need for one person to hold all the different strings together.

By default since it’s your wedding, many people will tend to refer their problems and concerns to you. Coping with all the merchants and vendors involved will make you wonder if getting married is worth all this effort. This in turn will make you think of either eloping or calling off the wedding. Don’t let that happen as it will unnecessarily stress you out. Instead pick a capable family member whose judgment you trust and ask them to handle all these details. They will only refer to you on important matters and leave you jitter free. Now you can be left to focus on more important details such as planning for your life after the marriage.

Focus on the future that you have planned for

If you are assailed with doubts about the choice you have made in the person you are about to marry, don’t panic blindly. Deal with your fears in a rational manner. One solution is to make a list of pros and cons. Think of five things that you like and admire about the person you want to marry. Then think of five things that you feel are short comings. What do you feel wins out? There is no perfect human being. Remember that everyone has their faults, including you. It may not sound very appealing, but it will help you balance your fears and hopes, both justified and unjustifiable.

Ask yourself tough questions. Does the person you have picked have the capability to provide you with the future that you have hoped for? Do they inspire your confidence and also make you feel secure in your relationship? It will also allow you to understand why you are getting married to this individual in particular. What you are focusing on here is the ability to make a future with the person you are getting married to. If despite all the soul searching, you still find that you do not want to get married, speak to your future spouse about it. Their reaction to your fears will help you understand your own feelings better and come to the right decision.

Feature Writer: Cashmere Lashkari