Is that really my Prince Charming? – Handling the reality of your life mate!

Loren Javier, By CC via Flickr

Loren Javier, By CC via Flickr

Every little girl thinks of the person she is going to spend the rest of her life with when she is small. The knight in shining armor on a white steed; the prince who will sweep her off her feet; that awesome man that she is going to marry one day in the future is never far from her thoughts. There is generally a full set of physical attributes and qualities that have been assigned to this person whom she will meet sometime in the far away future. He is tall, dark, handsome, kind, chivalrous, loves animals, and protects the weak. The dream itself changes a bit as the girl grows up but the essence of the person she longs to meet stays more or less the same.

Sometimes you have a surprise waiting for you in your future

Imagine that the little girl has grown up and found the person who is the one for her, but he is nothing at all like what she had expected. She had thought that her Prince Charming would be a strikingly handsome man with a beautiful house and she would reign there after marriage. Suddenly she has fallen for her classmate in college who has a slight paunch and wears thick rimmed glasses and loves her like the sunshine. What does she do now? Does she abandon the dream in favour of the reality that faces her? Or should she hold out to see if her dreams will eventually come true? What do you do if you are that little girl who must grow up and face reality?

Growing up is never easy to do

It is a good idea to remember that if a man wants you nothing can keep him away, but if he does not then no matter what you do he will not stay. So think in terms of the man who is by your side right now, more than some ideal person that may or may not exist. The truth is that a perfect man is unlikely to exist in reality just as you have flaws so will any other human being you pick to be your mate. This would be the reason why you should decide to grow up and settle for the bird in hand rather than wait for the one in the bush. Of course growing up is never easy to do, so think deeply about what you really truly want before you make your final decision.

Trust in your own instincts

Sure as a young girl you thought you wanted a particular type of person to be a part of your life, but is the person you have found now, not someone you want around? Nothing stays the same and the choice of a life partner can also change as you grow older. You no longer think that strawberry syrup should be eaten plain so why shouldn’t your choice in men also change? All you need to do is trust your instincts to ensure that you have found someone right for you. If you feel good about your own self, you will be able to make the choice easier.  Being comfortable with yourself is as important as being comfortable you’re your future mate. After all if you can trust your own instincts you will know beyond any personal doubt that despite the differences between your dream lover and your real life love, you have found the one you were looking for.

Are you smiling when you are with him?

One of the easiest ways to know that this strange person is right for you is to see how you feel around him. Maybe he is not what you thought you would like, but when you are with him does he make you feel good? Do you feel like you are stepping on egg shells around them, which any move you make may break the peaceful harmony that currently exists? Or can you afford to be yourself around him? Do you smile more often when you are in his company? Humor can go a long way in cementing a relationship. If you and your partner are able to make a joke out of it even the toughest situations can be tackled with ease. As long as you can communicate all that you feel easily and without anxiety it is a good idea to proceed with the relationship.

If he’s your BFF he will make a great BF

When you look back over the last few years of your life, do you realize that he has been a constant companion? He has been the Best Friend Forever that you never even realized? Then it stands to reason that the two of you are well suited to each other, you enjoy spending time with each other and are important people in each other’s lives. To make the transition from BFF to Boy Friend in your life will be easy for such a person. All you need to do is adjust your feelings towards him from being platonic to becoming romantic. Of course it will help if he already has a soft spot for you, but do ask him if he would be interested in a more serious relationship before you cast him in the role of Prince Charming. In most cases the boy would not be opposed to the idea.

Feature Writer: Cashmere lashkari

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