Dos and Don’ts for when you are newly “Single”

jill111-by-cc-via-pixabay-2Get over that old relationship that was keeping you in the dumps by giving yourself some tender love and care. Plus make sure you don’t end up doing something that you are bound to regret later.

Get Yourself to the Salon

Somehow taking a luxurious hair spa or full body massage can be most comforting after the frenzied thoughts and actions that often accompany a break up or even a divorce. Not only does getting an assortment of beauty treatments make you feel better physically, you can even transform your look by getting a new haircut. Or you could go for an all and out make over so drastic that you can barely recognize the person in the salon mirror. Get ready to meet the new and improved, happier, single you!

Don’t Listen to Old Musical Playlists

Music has a strong connection to your mind, body and soul. If you have been listening to music that you and your ex loved dancing to, you are eventually going to feel down as those memories begin seeping in. Skip those doubts and fears by getting some new music on your playlist. Look for new singers or popular chart busters that are playing today. Maybe even find yourself a new theme or anthem song that you can go to when you begin to feel low and are in need of a pick me up.

Relearn to Flirt

Yes, you have just ended a serious relationship. No, you are not interested in jumping right back into the dating game. However you need to feel free to flirt when you find an attractive person paying you attention. It’s a psychological feel good factor that you cannot ignore. Let yourself find a new, more positive and sexy you as you flirt with members of the opposite sex. After all window shopping is just as important as bargain hunting.

Don’t Visit Old Haunts

This one should be obvious. Old restaurants, movie halls, malls and any other places that you used to spend time with your ex should be on your “Do Not Visit” list. Not only will you save yourself the aggravation of possibly bumping into your ex there, you will also not have to hang out with common friends who may or may not be around these places.  Ideally, you should go find new places to hang out with and possibly make a few new friends while you are at it.

De Clutter Your Living Space

It doesn’t matter if you are still living at the same house which you shared with your ex, or if you have moved in to some new digs. The process of sorting through old stuff, and giving away what you no longer have use for, is very cleansing. You can take it up a notch and actually start working on dusting and vacuuming the space to make sure that it is spotlessly and clean. The cleaning rituals in the physical world will reflect cleansing rituals in your mental makeup as well, giving you a fresh new perspective on life.

Do Not Sit At Home Reliving the Past

Taking a short vacation is a great way to not sit at home and brood. Pick a destination that you have always wanted to go to, but your ex did not, or simply a place that you have not got around to going to as yet and head out. A holiday is a great way to recalibrate your life. You could do something as simple as heading into a town close by and spending the day sightseeing, or something more spectacular such as flying down to a five star resort on the beach. Just don’t lock yourself in at home and sit rehashing past memories. It is time to get past all that.

Take Up a New Hobby

Working with your hands is very therapeutic as per scientific experiments.  Get yourself a new hobby involving creating handicrafts and you will be able to keep your hands busy even as you don’t know what to do with all the free time that has suddenly shown up in your life. Not looking for a new hobby? Just take up projects around the house that you have been procrastinating on. Install that fan in the kitchen, tune up the new gadget to your home theatre system, organise your papers. Whatever keeps you gainfully occupied works in this situation.

Don’t Bottle Up Your Feelings

Keeping your feelings bottled up is just going to make you resent the end of your relationship even more. The best thing to do is to talk about what you have been through with a trusted friend or if you like a professional therapist. If you feel that sharing your true feelings is just not possible with another person as yet, you may just like to set a timer and stand in front of the mirror. Simply saying all that comes to the top of your head out loud can be a great way to deal with nasty emotions that have been pulling you down.

As you go through the motions of returning to a single lifestyle, remember that the challenges that seem insurmountable today, will one day seem like tiny road bumps just a few years into the future. You have the strength to deal with it all.

Feature Writer : Cashmere Lashkari

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