There is nothing quite as lonely as a heart that has loved and lost. It doesn’t matter if he was a cheating bastard, or an abusive despot. It doesn’t matter because you have spent a lot of time and emotions in a relationship that you really wanted to work out. For whatever reason the relationship failed, you are now nursing a broken heart. Now it is time to let go of all that hurt and misery. It is time to mend that heart.
Disconnect from the person in all fields of life both physical and virtual.
The last thing you need when you are trying to mend your broken heart is a daily reminder of the person who did the damage. Make sure that you clear out all the stuff that belongs to him and anything else that reminds you of him from your personal space. Disconnect from him on facebook, twitter, linkedin, and mark his email as spam! Make sure that you do not have to deal with reliving your time together in either the physical or the virtual world.
Work through the problem, don’t avoid it.
Do not pretend that he did not exist. Accept the fact that you made a mistake and that it was a problem. Now work through it and look at how you can solve the issues arising today. Talk about what is troubling you with a trusted friend or family member. It really does help you deal with the problems better when the feelings are not festering inside you. A good crib session or a hearty cry can actually leave you feeling lighter and better.
Forgive your partner and learn a new activity.
The trick is not to keep blaming him for the loss you have experienced. After acceptance comes forgiveness. While it may be a long time before you forget all the hurtful things that were done to you, you do not have to hold on to all that negative energy. You focus on healing yourself by forgiving your old partner and then picking up a new hobby. This will allow you to switch your attention to something new that you want to try to learn rather than sitting around at home feeling sorry for yourself.
Don’t start something on the rebound or binge on chocolate.
The answer to a failed relationship does not lie in getting into another relationship as fast as you can. Anything you do on the rebound is not likely to work out in the long run. You are on an emotional roller coaster and it is not kind to subject a new partner to ride with you on it. Wait till you are more balanced to start a relationship. Similarly it is easy to go on a binge when you are emotionally upset. So stay away from chocolate unless you are one of those lucky people with a really high metabolism that can digest anything without gaining an extra ounce of weight.
Enjoy being single again.
Wasn’t it an amazing carefree time when you were single? Rediscover the magic now that you are single again. There may be so many things that your ex did not allow you to do. Now is the time to do them all. Give priority to your own needs and wants. Go see a play, participate in a dance workshop, attend a yoga retreat, in short do whatever you want to do but could not when you were in the relationship. As you focus on making yourself the center of your attention, you will begin to heal your broken heart.
Help someone else who needs you.
It is like the story of the man who was sad because he had no shoes, till he saw the person who had no feet. There is always someone in the world, at any given time that is worse off than you. So when you take the time to help someone else it helps you understand that things are not as bad as they could be. An act of charity can actually bring about a major positive jolt of energy into your life. By giving someone emotional or financial support you will help yourself as well.
Take a holiday to some place you always wanted to go but couldn’t.
By putting physical distance between yourself and your ex you will feel better. There is always a vacation spot which you have been wanting to go to, but have not managed to visit so far. Think liberating thoughts as you take a walk by the beach, or climb the face of a mountain. The choice is yours, not something that you have been forced to compromise on. It will allow you to do something that you desire in a place that you want to be.
Build a healthy daily routine around good food and exercise.
Once you return from your holiday it is a good idea to set a healthy daily routine for yourself. Make sure you do not neglect yourself physically. Eat the right kind of food and ensure that you exercise regularly. It could be hitting the gym, jogging in the park, or swimming. It doesn’t matter what kind of exercise you do as long as you are regular with it. This allows you to be in a more positive frame of mind and helps to mend your broken heart as well.
Feature Writer : Cashmere Lashkari